What versus Why

It is very easy to resort to asking “Why?” when it maybe better to ask “What?”

In this article, “The power of ‘What’ over ‘Why’”, it highlights that the careful choice of words when asking questions can make a big difference.

When something goes wrong it is easy to resort to asking “Why did it happen?” or “Why didn’t you do …?”. The problem with “Why?” questions is that the brain hears them as a judgement with all the negative connotations of that. The person on the other end is more likely to become defensive

If you flip the question around to use “What?” then it becomes a question of curiosity. The examples they give are:

• “Why did this fail?” try “What happened here?”
• “Why didn’t you meet the deadline?” becomes “What got in the way?”
• “Why do you think that?” transforms into “What’s making you think that?”

The change is subtle but the impact on the receiver can be significant. I don’t find this comes naturally for me but it starts with recognising opportunities to make this change.